


Just Apathy

by ablankshot



Category: Red vs. Blue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ablankshot/pseuds/ablankshot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were crouched down at a decent vantage point watching Wash and Carolina talk, trying to get an idea of what the fuck was happening. It was almost like old times. Obviously, some things were different - Tucker letting Church ride shotgun instead of piggy back for instance - but it was close enough that he almost didn’t even care.</p>
<p>set mid-season 10, mentions of other sim troopers</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Apathy

“Bow-chicka-”  
“Dude, shut up, they’re gonna hear you.”

They were crouched down at a decent vantage point watching Wash and Carolina talk, trying to get an idea of what the fuck was happening. It was almost like old times. Obviously, some things were different - Tucker letting Church ride shotgun instead of piggy back for instance - but it was close enough that he almost didn’t even care. Caboose had told him that this Church was ‘Epsilon but still Church’, which Tucker guessed was about right for Caboose. Wash told him what had happened at Freelancer command, the EMP and the Meta. It had felt like a punch to the gut, but Tucker at least took satisfaction that Church went out like a ghost. 

Epsilon wasn’t a replacement, definitely not, but it softened the blow some. It was a familiar voice saying his name in a memorable slide-whistle anger tone that cinched his heart and distracted him from the thought that he never got to say goodbye to who was arguably his best friend. And all along this trip, if Tucker squinted and tilted his head just right, he could almost see Epsilon as solid. He could let himself slip and call him Church and genuinely mean it. Close enough for Tucker to ignore that this Church didn’t know who he was when Caboose woke him up on the desert. Didn’t remember Tucker at all until they’d gotten a little further away, telling Epsilon a few more stories of Blood Gulch.

Church rode with Carolina for a while, to stay close, to glean information on whether or not they, Blue Team, can trust her. Could they believe her when she says what their mission is and how far she’d dragged them along for it. Tucker used the time to look at home, Valhalla. At least, home for the rest of the guys. It was his first time there, Caboose touring him around like a showroom house Tucker’s looking to buy and that was unsettling in and of itself, the fact they were getting along. Tucker kept a counter to the side of his HUD of the length of time before Caboose asked about Church. Surprisingly it went for a fairly long time. Not until after Tucker jokingly sent one of the empty supply crates on the man cannon to watch it fly halfway across the field. The water was fucking novel, he even had to admit, not used to that back in Blood Gulch or the desert. He’d gotten pretty fucking annoyed at Church for siding with Carolina after he was supposed to be helping his team. But maybe they just needed to cool off. It had been a pretty long ride and something something confined spaces making people annoyed with each other more than usual. It fit really. Church gets huffy and mad, Tucker goes to walk it off, they talk again later. Maybe that’s all they needed.

It was _almost_ old times. A hero for helping stop Project Freelancer and the Meta, an alien ambassador, space marine, and all Tucker wanted to do was this. Just sit around an empty base and shoot the shit with his friends, after so long alone and fighting and hoping someone would show up. Hell, they even had the bitchy angry lady Freelancer to fill that particular void. Now they had Church back in whatever capacity they had him and it was okay. It was _going_ to be okay. 

It should have been okay. 

But then Carolina started talking again, pushing them for a debriefing and then _leaving_. Just up and leaving again, this new home Tucker was just starting to get the hang of. The team dynamic was working again, even as stressed as they all were. Hell, even Wash was fitting in now, jumping in to add his kill count to the blue team’s. This was what they needed. This was the way things were _supposed_ to be between them all. Bickering and fighting with no real bite. Just a bunch of guys having an okay time pissing on each other without really meaning it because they know where they really stand with each other.

Carolina was fucking that up. 

Epsilon was fucking that up. 

This plan of theirs should have been over now. ‘Help find the Director’. Mission a-fucking-ccomplished. Epsilon found the Director. Now they could keep Church here and Carolina could go have her revenge and they never had to cross paths again. Everyone wins. 

Except Church is agreeing with her. Church is _going with her_. 

“The plans change.” Carolina obviously didn’t really understand them at all if she thought this was going to work. 

“Maybe I should stay with the guys-” Wash was having more loyalty right now than Church and that was like a shot in the arm to Tucker to realize. What he couldn’t figure out was why Church gave a damn about this Director dude anyway. He hadn’t come up the whole time since the desert, not until this chick showed up spouting about him. Why the fuck was he listening to her? What did the Director even have to do with him, beyond ‘director of that place you came from’. Carolina didn’t know them. Carolina didn’t know Sarge or how he needed to feel like he was in a superior position to Grif. She didn’t know that Simmons had to fucking feel validated or he goes rogue in that ridiculously stupid ineffectual kind of way. Or how Grif and Simmons were probably going to confess like any day now if she’d just leave them the fuck alone. Or how Caboose needed routine, certain times of the day for certain things and it to be _regular_ \- like nap time, snack time, quiet time. Carolina didn’t fucking know any of them so why the _hell_ was Church planning to go along with her?

She didn’t know she was practically taking away what was left of his best friend. And moreover, didn’t give a shit. 

The briefing was breaking down around him. Tucker had tried to be passive enough, tried to let things go but even he had limits. “Well, guess what, Psycho Bitch! I don’t take orders from you anymore!” 

It wasn’t the first time a hot-sounding chick had threatened him. It certainly wasn’t the second or even third time one had him on the other end of a gun scope. 

It was definitely the first time anyone had stood up for him though. Tucker was grateful no one could see the way his eyes cut to Wash with _his_ gun aimed point blank at Carolina. What the shit was even happening to this team anymore. Even Agent motherfucking Washington was siding with them when Church wouldn’t. 

He could see it now. Those rifts and lines that made this Church different. It had only taken a long ass road trip and exhaustion and having a gun in his face to see it. Or.. Really. Tucker had always seen it. He just didn’t want to admit it. 

“Church, calm down! What’s your problem?!”

_Tucker, come on, we’ll laugh about it later. I’ll buy you dinner._

“ _You’re_ my problem!” 

_Oh stop being a baby and just try wiggling it._

“Every one of you is just a problem that I have to deal with on a daily basis!”

_So… You come around here often? I’m kidding! I’m kidding._

Now that he thought about it, Tucker never had heard Epsilon laugh. He wasn’t sure the AI even knew how. He took a step back, in line with Wash, let the silence fill the space in the holo-room. This was all the proof he’d needed to know his friend was well and truly gone. That this being in front of him, this Church screaming with actual force behind it, was just an echo. Not enough to hold a candle to the original. Church may have gone out like a ghost, but the Church in front of him was a damn poltergeist, ripping apart their home and whatever they had left. 

He left. Tucker left the room, didn’t say a word because anything that came out of his mouth would’ve been too emotional, too real, and that’s not how they do things. (Or maybe that had changed too, maybe everyone allowed it and he missed the memo, _again_ , while he was stranded alone. He couldn’t be sure.) Went to park his ass right at the shore of the beach behind the base and let the last hour or so run back through his mind. The slow realization that Church was gone. He’d always been gone. And Tucker was sure he knew for a while before this. But at least he’d been able to pretend for a little while that he was still there. His friend that insulted them and shit-talked them but still backed them up when there was any real fight. His friend that hated his kid with every fiber of his being, but went and tracked down their enemy because he thought Tucker was sick. That flipped Tucker off when he was on the transport ship to the embassy and refused to say goodbye. That ran off and _died_ while Tucker was trying to send him a SOS message. 

That Church was gone. Instead, he was left with this Church, who looked like he was going to stand back and let Carolina shoot him in the face. That probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Tucker was dimly aware of Grif sitting nearby having a smoke. Of Caboose coming to sit and dip his feet in the water, of Wash standing at attention close by behind him, as if guarding the group in unspoken agreement. Sarge and Simmons were likely back making some supply inventory or some bullshit at red base. This was it then. This was what was left of their rag tag misfit family. Even if it was a little broken. And missing, what Tucker considered to be, a very important piece. 

He caught sight of Carolina and Epsilon leaving out of his peripheral. Fine by him. He didn’t want to say goodbye to this Church either. It was becoming a tradition he didn’t want to break.

**Author's Note:**

> attempting to out-sad [eggstasy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/eggstasy/pseuds/eggstasy) in a blue team sad feels loop aka "why did I rewatch season 10 oh right"


End file.
